Colloquial definition: a middle school student.
I have been teaching middle school for just over twenty years now. It's no small understatement to say that I love it. I adore the personalities, the fragile sensitivities, the stunning and often surprising glimpses into deeper thinking than one thought possible...all of it.
Most of all, perhaps?
I love the dichotomy that is a middle school student. As proof, I submit the following:
1. "Alot" of ado: Every year, I teach students about my grammatical pet peeves and other common mistakes they must avoid. One is the incorrect use of "alot." "A lot" is actually two words, an article adjective and a noun. It is an expression of abundance based on an actual unit of measurement. Perennially, I have students argue with me that "alot" is one word, they know it, they can prove it, they see it ALL THE TIME!
And then once they figure it out and see how much it bothers me to see it expressed incorrectly, some decide to torture me "alot." Almost every day, I come into the classroom to find an anonymous note on my podium, scribbled on my white board, or stuck into the attendance folder. Someone is having "alot" of fun at my expense.
The dichotomy between knowing better and using it anyway? I love it alot.
2. Hashtag hilarity: I'm told teenagers have taken to the Twittah because their parents took over Facebook. And I've noticed my students joking in conversation about with Twitter lingo.
"That party was so fun, right? Like...hashtag totes cool (#totescool)!" or "My parents were so harsh on me! Hashtag brutal #brutal)!"
And then I noticed they were taking hashtagging to a new level...at my expense. A frequent misspelling of my last name is "Martian." One child does it intentionally, pretending I am an actual alien being. I told him he was right on one level...I AM out of this world.
He stared at me...nonplussed...and then regrouped and began a new assault. It took off like wildfire, and suddenly I've been "hashtagged" in a variety of ways on a daily basis.
The dichotomy between using technology as a way of life and a way of spoofing your teacher? #WellPlayed.
3. Cursed by the Cooties: Again, the white board presents opportunity for much fun in school. I don't know why, but every child I've ever met LOVES to write, draw and goof on the board any time allowed...or unnoticed.
Case in point: On one recent low-key afternoon, the students were playing word games after a grueling research unit. Soft music was playing, windows were open, I was working quietly at my desk...keeping one eye on the kids and one eye on grading. I was blissfully unaware that anything might be amiss. Then the principal walked in with a parent on a tour, and we explained why we were thusly occupied. All was well...until I glanced at the white board. At some point while the one eye supposed to be on the kids apparently was not, they had surreptitiously written the following:
Now the Cootie Curse has blossomed.
4. Deep Thoughts: And then always...when I least expect it...the daily shenanigans that are so typical of a middle school classroom fade away and leave me speechless...breathless with wonder and awe. Whenever someone asks what level I teach and hears the answer, there's often a sharp intake of breath and a look of pity. "Wow, middle school...tough age. WHY?"
I've always said I love middle school because it offers a glimpse into who an individual will be someday.
I've always said it's because I love thinking I'm the smartest person in the room and then finding out I'm not when that one special kid GETS IT...laughs at something he/she wasn't supposed to understand.
I've always said it's because the kids both warm my soul and break my heart.
Most years I do a poetry unit and start with simple, formulaic options to get them engaged. The biopoem is a great format...students are to explore their personalities and share their loves, fears, talents, etc. This one stopped me in my tracks the other day:
I've been #blessed alot.
